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Okay so here is the one about the jumpers. I get told to go to a flying club grass strip to take a dozen idiots up that want to jump out of a perfectly good aircraft. I get there and go thru a safety briefing on what I want them to do so everyone can go home in one piece. I was going to take the back door off on the right side and would take two jumpers at a time. We would go up to 8000 ft and I would slow down to about 40 kts. When I told them it was good to go they would hang the headsets up on the far left side of the ship...undo their seat belts and put the buckle behind themselves and do them up . One at a time they would get out on the right skid and fall off the skid. No diving...just fall off. So we start the show and things were going okay.About the third trip I have one guy that has to be a good 270 pounder and a smaller lady. Also on each trip I had a guy in the front taking pics of this folks jumping. So we get up to 8 grand and I start slowing down...tell them its good to go. Well the smaller woman does as was told...she is gone ...now the big goomer gets out on the side and decides that it would be cool to shimmy up the skid on my side to start waving at me in the front bubble. So now I have this big dope way up front on the skid and the ship goes into a steep right hand dive. He thinks this is great fun. I am yelling at him to get the he## off as we are nearing the red line on the airspeed and passing thru 5000 ft.He finally decides maybe the pilot is getting a bit pissed off and does a back gainer off the skid. So after gaining control of the ship...I AM pissed!. I land and shut down. The other jumpers are wondering what is up as there was going to be at least two trips for each jumper. So here comes the big dumb *** carrying his chute and we get at it. He won't be going again. Not sure how many trips I did that day but at the end I couldn't wait to get home and spin the lid off a bottle of Flora! My advice...don't do skydiving jobs!

Attached might be of interest given the nature of this subject chain, then again - maybe not! Recently issued Notice of Proposed Amendment (NPA) regarding the codifying of existing exemptions related to PEDs. This initiative appears to be welcome evidence of regulatory streamlining. Have a look at the following section in subparagraph b) on page 5 of the attached NPA which may require additional investigation. which states: “b) that the air operator has validated that the use of PEDs will not impair the aircraft’s system or equipment during all phases of flight including critical phases of flight;” The key word being “validate”. Fly safey now, ya hear! NPA-_PORTABLE_ELECTRONIC_DEVICES_(PEDS).pdf

1. This is not a joke. Get something the size and weight of a lemon and tie it onto a 6 foot piece of string. Stand on a chair and move the lemon around as if your hand is the helicopter above it. You will learn what makes the load swing, how to stop a swing, etc etc. Descend when the line swings and learn how that kills the momentum of a swing. Learn the timing of how to fly 'over' a swinging load to kill its swinging motion. I'm serious !! This is simple physics, just on a smaller scale. It works, and it's a real cheap simulator. 2. Take the line off. That's right....off. Too many guys try to run before they can walk. Fly around hanging out the door etc. as if there was a line on there, look-in and peek at the guages etc. Get used to how little you need to move the cyclic etc. Fly approaches to a 50 ft hover....hold a perfect hover, transition into flight again, etc. When you are comfortable with that, put the line on. If you are moving the cyclic more than before, then you have a problem. Keep the belly hook smooth, and the line will be smooth. 3. As someone said above, get used to your sight pictures. Remember that the helicopter will 'hang' differently in a hover with an empty hook than with a max gross load pulling on the belly hook. Get comfortable with how the ship will sit before the rigger hooks you up, then how it will sit in a steady hover before you fly away at max gross. On that note, get a steady hover before departing. Pulling tension and wobbling away into the sky as you get control will get you punted very quickly. 4. Get a reputation as a smooth long-line pilot before you try to get a reputation as a fast long-line pilot. 5. If your flying is really bad one particular day......try leaning out further. 6. Remember to smile.