Lost Friends

[Helilog56]

I have come to an "impasse"......to many friends lost, to many heartaches.

 

There is a "huge", lack of respect shown here (on this site).

 

For every person (comrade/pilot/engineer/suporrt), that "ever", crossed paths with us, for every person that "ever", made an impression or an impact in our lives (no matter how big or small).....where has "it" (the respect), gone???????

 

This is a small fraternity......the fallen, support their families working in this industry.

 

I am disgusted with the lack of respect shown here.

 

Not a slam to Vertical....just the "********", that are now part of this industry.

 

Helilog56/Bob Kellie

[cheyenne]

Bob, while I have to agree with the generality of your observation about the altered demeanor of our industry, I do need to say that I didn't discern any disrespect in any of the posts about yesterday's Prism loss (to which I assume you're referring).

 

Unfortunately, when we've been in this industry for decades we've all, of course, lost more friends than we want to count. We've also seen many of the myriad ways in which people handle loss - some of which we often don't understand. I've seen people that I know are not in any way callous appear to be so, simply because they can't handle loss in ways others think are appropriate. Many people, for example, have queried why I don't attend funerals - the simple truth being that I just can't handle them any more. Like you, I've lost too many friends, as well as family members and, when I've tried to 'show my respect' by attending funerals, the accumulated weight of loss overhelms me more than I'm willing to demonstrate in public. If this makes me seem 'disrespectful' of the departed - well, I'm sorry anyone feels that way, but they clearly don't know me well if they make that assumption, and they're welcome to their narrow perspectives.

 

Having said all this, Bob, I doubt that it soothes your concerns, but perhaps itll give one or two others something to consider.

[transquebecniece]

I know it's been an incredibly rough and weighty year. Hugs for you, Bob.

[Auto Relight]

cheynne,

 

 

Well said.

 

 

I think we'd all be reminded to allow people their own processes, there isn't one way to react to these situations.

 

The driller on board flew hundreds of flights with me last year, hooked me to more overweight loads than you can shake a hook/fist at....! lol, but one of the nicest guys you'll meet. He will be missed.

 

 

AR

[MX Trainer]

After 36 years in aviation you think it would get easier - but it doesn’t!!!

 

Like you I have lost way too many friends and co-workers in accidents and it is never easy to explain the “Why”. I think that for the majority of us the first feeling is that of the wrenching gut - then the inevitable - OMG - Who??? Where??? When??? and then the “How”. We all want the “Why” immediately - but sometimes it never comes.

 

We all deal with loss differently - some of put on a brave face - get hard and unemotional - while inside we are goo - We know to let it bubble to the surface at the time would render us emotional wreckage - which is what we really are at that moment. It is only later when the emotional roller-coaster has departed that we can look at the loss in a mature way.

 

I don’t think there is a lack of respect from the members of this forum in general - possibly some could use a bit of sensitivity training. Respect presents itself in many forms - some are very tangible. I work for one of the companies that provide flight services for the barge loaders involved in the West Coast Goose accident. When I came into work on Tuesday there was a single long-stem red rose under the windshield wiper of their vehicles in the parking lot!!! Someone cared enough to do a simple act - out of respect.

 

Whenever someone posts in an insensitive manner I have the option of reacting to it in a positive or a negative way - or in some cases - an ambivalent way. The spoken word in communication has so much more going for it - many of us are handicapped when using the written word as so much is lost - especially for those who do not write well. So I have to cut them some slack - try and see what it is they are trying to say - and probably most importantly - try and figure out what they really mean to say.

 

When it comes to offering words regarding a loss we instinctively know that nothing we could ever say or put down in words can ease the immediate suffering - but for many it is the only way we have to express some kindness and support - and it never seems to be enough. We do it anyway, knowing that it is never enough, because we have no other means to deliver a message from the heart.

 

Every year my circle grows with the introduction of new faces - and every year my circle diminishes as some of those faces vanish. Does that mean that I think less of them?? Not at all - in fact many times as I hear more about them, they grow in stature. Does that mean I have forgotten them? - Not a chance!!! Does that mean that I am not going to live my life because something bad happened to someone good?? Of course not. We grieve some losses more than others - but we do grieve them all - because to do so is in our humanness - and under the deepest most callous of us, is still a human being in pain.

 

For some that pain is so great that we refuse to go to funerals and gatherings - they only bring out the overwhelming sense of loss as each one accumulates until the load is just too high. The emotional burden reaches a breaking point and we need to find another way to cope - so we don’t go to the funerals anymore. It is an action that those of us who have got to that point understand and respect.

 

For others newer in this game - the losses haven’t mounted, the lives cut way too short, and the people left behind that are suffering, have not yet registered - but as they grow older it will. Give them a break - for they are simply without the experience to know any better.

 

 

Mx

[Guest bag swinnger]

Yes MX Trainer some of my thoughts indeed.

You are much more capable with words than I.

Thank you

Shawn

[ame206350]

Yes MX Trainer some of my thoughts indeed.

You are much more capable with words than I.

Thank you

Shawn

 

Agreed. Well written post.

[Helilog56]

To say I was frustrated and emotional when I posted earlier, would be an understatement. This is going down as one of the harder years.....A.S , K.H., and now J.R. And I am still unsure of the Carson crew.

 

It opens up a floodgate of memories, of friends lost in the past.....as I am getting older, it seems to be accumulative and harder each time.

 

But alas, it is part of life.....just not a very good one.

 

In venting my frustration if I offended anyone or pointed a finger, I apologize.

No disrespect was intended.

 

Sometimes emotion does tend to overide common sense.

 

Bob Kellie

[cheyenne]

It's what keeps us, human, Bob, and when we lose our humanity I'm not sure I'll want to play any more. I'd be surprised if you offended anyone.

[Gary Watson]

To say I was frustrated and emotional when I posted earlier, would be an understatement. This is going down as one of the harder years.....A.S , K.H., and now J.R. And I am still unsure of the Carson crew.

 

It opens up a floodgate of memories, of friends lost in the past.....as I am getting older, it seems to be accumulative and harder each time.

 

But alas, it is part of life.....just not a very good one.

 

In venting my frustration if I offended anyone or pointed a finger, I apologize.

No disrespect was intended.

 

Sometimes emotion does tend to overide common sense.

 

Bob Kellie

 

Bob check your PMs

 

GW