Airport Security

[sharkbait]

A number of years ago ( 1993) when working in Kuwait/Iraq for the UN we combined some night/IFR training with a crew change.

Landed at Kuwait International and threw helmet into helmet bag grabbed luggage and, after giving my replacement an very abbreviated briefing, checked in and departed for LHR and YUL with British Airways.

Went through security in both Kuwait and London. Hand carried the helmet bag which was x-rayed in both places.

Arrived home and unpacked.

Found in the helmet bag -

Helmet - 1

large cans Mace - 2

5 inch Marine survival knife with sharpening stone and fire starting kit. - 1

Pencil flare gun - 1

Sets of gyro stabilized flares for above - 2 stripper clips ( 5 Flares each )

Bag of tools.- 1

Flashlights -2

Zippo lighter -1

 

OOPS

 

Wouldn't want to try that today.

 

Nowadays I check before departure for nailclippers and never wear a poppy on my jacket in November ( the pin can be used as a weapon according to airport security).

No tools allowed. I can imagine waving a 5/8 wrench and yelling " Nobody move or the wing comes off!!!"

I also am willing to do just about anything to avoid Toronto airport where security is completely out of hand.

Do those " No abuse will be tolerated" signs apply to the passengers too? :angry:

[Charles W.]

Security?

 

Hmmm depends on the place and the people, I have been to so many countries lately that I can't remember them but the security check thing is really from one extreem to the other.

 

Quite frankly I think it is mostly a political knee jerk that has evolved into parkinsons disease.

 

But my latest experience with security was really baffeling, going through security on the way over here ( Holland ) in Vancouver this trip I arrived at security and for the first time in memory there was no line up.

 

Well I thought finally I get to go through without taking all day, hah, lots of luck.

 

With nothing to do the group of deep thinkers identified me as a white male so having no protection from the P.C. rules they really did a job on me. After unloading my pockets and taking off my jacket I lit up the security door like I knew I would. So jobsworth commands me to raise my arms, spread my legs and starts to probe me with his wand. Trying to sound calm and normal I told him the machine went off because of my watch, he was having none of that and continued to probe me and finding nothing he was puzzeled. Finally I convinced him to let me take off my Breitling self winding watch and let me walk through the door again, and of course no problem. The Breitling of course has more metal in it than a Sherman tank and that solved that problem. ( It was given to me by Breitling for having flown as a air display pilot for them, I can't afford to buy one. )

 

Anyhow I look over at the table and lo and behold two of them have my backpack with all my GPS stuff and now we start on that. One says to me you have a pair of sissors in this pack somewhere, where are they? I told them that I never carry such things through security as I do this for a living, well we started checking and finally I'll be damned if there was not a pair of folding sissors hanging from a key chain that I had lost in Jeddah about three years ago, the f.ckin things had slid down between a couple of pockets and I had been going through security with my lost key chain and the sissiors for years.

 

Anyhow they of course confiscated them and let me repack everything and go to the boarding gate.

 

Here is what puzzels me, I have had an airplane confiscated for a day by homeland security in the USA on a ferry from Africa via Europe, been taken out of line and interrogated in depth because I have to many visas and stamps travelling between London England and the middle east so those things I can understand, but what I **** could I do that would be dangerous with a pair of two inch folding sissors?

 

Security?????

 

Thursday I go home ...horay, horay!!

 

Chas W.

[cyclic monkey]

Always watch for these important WARNING signs !!

[Bruised Armpit]

Sudbury, ON.

 

Land helicopter on ramp in front of terminal.

Enter almost empty terminal.

Walk 75' to sandwich bar, buy junk food.

Ask security to be let back out to helicopter.

Get asked for photo ID and Pilots licence.

Snicker, comply, get let out to helicopter.

Remember to make a phone call.

Go back inside (5 mins. later, max.)

Place call, ask to be let back outside.

Get asked for photo ID and Pilots licence.....

 

what can you say!?!

[VERTICAL REF]

...THAT was the most "terroistic" looking oxygen bottle I have ever seen...AL-KAY-DA and Bin Ladin sticker's were all over it...whats a guy to do?

 

Vibrator, just about time for another 3 hour tour no?

 

 

Too bad Hogie is the only one that can apprecieate the humour in that other one..

[Puddle Jumper]

Bruised

 

I went through roughly the same thing in Sudbury only it was prior 9-11. Land in Sudbury, went in terminal, used the washroom, asked security guard to let me out on the ramp only to be told that "only pilots are allowed on the ramp" It must have taken me at least 3 minutes to convince the 60 year old security guard that I was a student pilot and that I brought the tiny little helicopter to the airport. I must admit it was kinda humourous watching him keep his eye on me until I got into the enstrom.

[Harmonic_Vibe]

Hey VR, I'm probably coming home to the land of the "Snap-frozens", as my Aussie engineer calls us, soon. And I may end up on your side of the rocks... I think a three-hour tour might be in order... except this time I don't want you unscathed!!!

 

:afro:

 

P.S. Hopefully Skully will be around also...

[LDP]

Not too long ago in Timmins, we landed, as we were waiting around the helicopter for fuel the security guy drove up and said hello. We then went inside for a pop. When it came time for us to go back to the helicopter the same security guy asked me who I was, what I was flying, made me show him ID, and then escorted us to the ramp. The funny thing was he didnt make the other 3 people I was with show ID !!!

[412driver]

going through security at LAX with my carry-on, my laptop and my bag of duty free. this army security person tells me that i am allowed only ONE piece of carry on. i refer her to the sign directly behind her that says "allowable: one piece personal (my carry on), one piece business (my laptop)" and if i can't buy duty free close the f#$$'n shops!! she doesn't blink and says "one piece only".

 

i take a deep breath and politely ask what i am supposed to do with my extra items? she tells me to go to the gate and have the agent check in my extra bags. "oh, ok" i say, "i'll do just that. thank you." and went on my way.

 

hey, you just don't argue with a black woman holding a machine gun!!!!!

[Guest bag swinnger]

Oh yeah, I have some stories. Involving borders, guns, dogs and attitudes but It would just take to long to type them out, so lets just say that I would personally enjoy squeezeing the life out of this Bin ladden character. :down: