Funny stuff you said or heard.

[RDM 1]

Was having a not so great day with the longline.

Driller comes on radio:

"You be more comfortable to come down here and do this and I will go up there and do that?"

🤒

 

[412driver]

Flying for Helijet around 1999-2000. Sitting on the pad ready to go. 

Me: Harbour tower, Helijet 711 ready to go.

Tower: Helijet 711, standby.

I wait 2 minutes and call again. Once again I am told to standby. During this time it was very busy in the airspace. Lots of floatplanes coming and going and the Lady in the tower was getting stressed. I wait another 2 minutes and now I am getting antsy because we are on a schedule and leaving 5 minutes late meant a bit of paperwork.

Me: Tower, Helijet 711, I am on a schedule here....let's go!

Tower (now she sounded angry and stressed): Helijet 711, just let me get this Beaver going and I will get you off!

Me: Tower.....ok.... for THAT, I will wait.....

30 seconds of complete silence on the radio.....

Tower: Helijet 711, you are cleared for take off....get out of my airspace!!!!

Me: Thank you Tower....Have a nice day!

[412driver]

Another favourite at Helijet was when I was flying across the Georgia Straight at 4500'. Getting close to YVR and I see a Shorts aircraft lifting off 08R, in the right turn and headed my way.....

Vancouver Center: Helijet 712, There is a Shorts in the climb , your 2 o'clock low, AS WELL AS, a floatplane at your 11 o'clock.

Me: Roger Center, I have the Shorts down low.....Beaver in sight!!!

 

[ray]

Seismic site. Listening to the radio. Pilot went to pick up a crew. 

Pilot: Stand on the pad with your back to the wind

 

Crew member: Is that with my back to the wind facing you or facing away from you,,,??

[Winnie]

Or in Quebec with a group of Geologists.., Put them down on one peak, they had moved to a different one, on the radio he said :"You're at my 12 o'clock!" Found him though...

[Torque Split]

Flying out to pickup the slashers and they were having trouble with the clock system to call me in.  Then I heard "Fly away from the sun boy, fly away from the sun."   Worked for me, did what I was told and found them!

[DGP]

I was on a fire in southern Manitoba and had landed next to some farm buildings when out comes these old boys...Ukrainean ployboys.They wanted to know if that there machinsky had rubber blades!!!

[onemorepilot]

Not exactly a flying story but a pilot story...

When talking about the somewhat new laws about texting and driving, a fellow spray pilot once said, "I operate 11 switches with my right thumb while flying a helicopter within ten feet of obstacles in a 3d environment at 60 mph while holding my track within 3 feet.  Don't tell me I can't figure out how to text and drive."

[DGP]

That pretty much says it all for spraying except you should have mentioned you are going with minimum fuel and maximum product! They like to call that stuff in the spray tank by the term product!

[chirpyboy]

YVR 1979, I was transiting across YVR headed for Pacific Avionics when the controller asked me if I could hover over the Canadian Airlines hangar, which I did at about 500 AGL. I was facing the runway and I observed a rare sight - an Air Canada 747 lined up for departure behind a Cessna 150. Once the Cessna had lifted off and flown the length of the runway - which took forever - the controller then says "Air Canada 121 Heavy cleared for takeoff Runway 08, caution turbulence departing Cessna 150."

A classic!

Chirp