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Funny stuff you said or heard.


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Flying for Helijet around 1999-2000. Sitting on the pad ready to go.  Me: Harbour tower, Helijet 711 ready to go. Tower: Helijet 711, standby. I wait 2 minutes and call again. Once agai

YVR 1979, I was transiting across YVR headed for Pacific Avionics when the controller asked me if I could hover over the Canadian Airlines hangar, which I did at about 500 AGL. I was facing the runway

Well it is nice to be back on the site. As stated a few days ago this site was once the place to come for pilots in our great industry to catch up with one another. To share our stories good and

Sitting in a drill camp at the supper table. Drillers, engineers and associated personal all in same area just gobbling down the 2 week old veg's and freezer burnt meat. (Oh the fun in tenting!😜) Directly across from me head in to his plate sits Mr Innis.  As usual he was focused on his meal and was not (in my mind) listening to the light hearted banter. We had been in the same camp for many days working the same area both moving drills. 

The engineer quips to me "Did you keep up with the old fella today?"

JI still does not look up.

I say in fun thinking I may get a giggle or two from the crews  "pfft, hard not to keep up with someone his age and who can't hover"

Still not looking up from his plate the deep dark voice spoke.... "remember do I not only have more time in the hover then you have in full  cruise I also have more time backing up into a tailwind then you will fly this season"

The engineer spit his lunch across the table and I retired to my tent! 

🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣

 

 

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Hey MEOB!

Heard you got the new gig in YYT!

Good on you....you deserve it! 

You will find it is a great city. You will work with some fine people. Enjoy your time there. I did.

Get use to the FOG AT 60 KNOTS though. Lol

Always wished we could have done it together. 

Carry on.

 

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I was flying a 212 with a FN support crew out of the Elbow Fire Base some years ago.  It was getting near the end of their 21-day rotation and one of their older guys came up to me after the morning checks and asked me something.  The conversation went like this:

George: I was wondering if I can ask you something?

Me: Sure. Go ahead.

George: I was thinking that maybe we can get Tiny up in the helicopter today.  He's been driving the support truck all the time and wants to go flying.

Me: Sure.  That shouldn't be a problem.  I have time to talk to him and give him a safety brief.

George then goes away and returns shortly with Tiny. To my astonishment, Tiny was anything but...tiny.  I pegged him at 6'3" or 6'4" with a considerable girth.  A mountain of a man that I would estimate weighed in the area of 300+ pounds.  With the operating elevation of the fire base, DA, crew weights, gear and fuel calculations I gave myself a small margin of wiggle room to stay within the aircraft operating charts. 

I pulled George aside.

Me: George, I can put Tiny in the back, but you have to tell me which 2 guys he's going to replace.

George: Replace 2 guys? Why?

Me: Tiny's a big boy and I can't add him to the crew without removing something.  Since we can't remove fuel or equipment, it'll have to be people.

George: (thoughtful for a few seconds) Tiny, back to the truck.  No flying for you and don't ask me again.

 

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In a camp in the territories. Sitting in the kitchen tent. The camp manager came in. I said to him in a grumpy voice, there's something wrong with the washer/dryer.

He looked at me with a tired look. What's wrong?

I said, it shrunk all my clothes, right around the waistline. 

There was a brief pause, then the cook burst out laughing. Thank you. 

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