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Funny stuff you said or heard.

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Was having a not so great day with the longline.

Driller comes on radio:

"You be more comfortable to come down here and do this and I will go up there and do that?"



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Flying for Helijet around 1999-2000. Sitting on the pad ready to go. 

Me: Harbour tower, Helijet 711 ready to go.

Tower: Helijet 711, standby.

I wait 2 minutes and call again. Once again I am told to standby. During this time it was very busy in the airspace. Lots of floatplanes coming and going and the Lady in the tower was getting stressed. I wait another 2 minutes and now I am getting antsy because we are on a schedule and leaving 5 minutes late meant a bit of paperwork.

Me: Tower, Helijet 711, I am on a schedule here....let's go!

Tower (now she sounded angry and stressed): Helijet 711, just let me get this Beaver going and I will get you off!

Me: Tower.....ok.... for THAT, I will wait.....

30 seconds of complete silence on the radio.....

Tower: Helijet 711, you are cleared for take off....get out of my airspace!!!!

Me: Thank you Tower....Have a nice day!

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Another favourite at Helijet was when I was flying across the Georgia Straight at 4500'. Getting close to YVR and I see a Shorts aircraft lifting off 08R, in the right turn and headed my way.....

Vancouver Center: Helijet 712, There is a Shorts in the climb , your 2 o'clock low, AS WELL AS, a floatplane at your 11 o'clock.

Me: Roger Center, I have the Shorts down low.....Beaver in sight!!!


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Seismic site. Listening to the radio. Pilot went to pick up a crew. 

Pilot: Stand on the pad with your back to the wind


Crew member: Is that with my back to the wind facing you or facing away from you,,,??

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I was on a fire in southern Manitoba and had landed next to some farm buildings when out comes these old boys...Ukrainean ployboys.They wanted to know if that there machinsky had rubber blades!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not exactly a flying story but a pilot story...

When talking about the somewhat new laws about texting and driving, a fellow spray pilot once said, "I operate 11 switches with my right thumb while flying a helicopter within ten feet of obstacles in a 3d environment at 60 mph while holding my track within 3 feet.  Don't tell me I can't figure out how to text and drive."

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  • 3 months later...

YVR 1979, I was transiting across YVR headed for Pacific Avionics when the controller asked me if I could hover over the Canadian Airlines hangar, which I did at about 500 AGL. I was facing the runway and I observed a rare sight - an Air Canada 747 lined up for departure behind a Cessna 150. Once the Cessna had lifted off and flown the length of the runway - which took forever - the controller then says "Air Canada 121 Heavy cleared for takeoff Runway 08, caution turbulence departing Cessna 150."

A classic!


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