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What's That Smell?


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When I used to instruct in the 300's. On occasion I would let a good one rip....then just before the smell hit ask the student..."Do you smell avgas!!?" Then they usually get all worried and have a big whiff! HAHAHA

Bit of an *** of a thing to do...but all the instructors found it funny!

 

I'll have to remember that one!!! :punk: :punk: Now that's hilarious!!!! :lol::lol:

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This is way too freakin good!!!!!

3 pages on a fart thread.

It's one of the reasons I'm still in this game (other than the fact I'm too old to do anything else)

The soundboard link has been saved to my desktop, poised for the right moment to let fly!!!!!

Here's to farting with confidence! If you've ever worked in India, you'll know what I mean.

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  • 2 weeks later...

ok i got one for you guys, they got the other apprentice with this one at an automotive shop that i was working at

 

we just got our coveralls back from the cleaners. at our coffee break one of the techs starts to complain about what they washed the coveralls in and how much it stinks. well of course we all kinda smell our own and tell him how much he was full of it. but keeps going on about the smell so the other apprentice takes the bait and leans over and takes a big smell at the top of the buttons. it is amazing how well coverals can hold and funal a smell up words i can say after watching the apprentice turn green the smell was not from the cleaning of the coverals.

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Workplace Farting

 

 

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts.

 

70% of the time, we can dispense freely. The other 30% of the time, such as at work, we have some tough decisions to make. This document is intended to help you in those decisions.

 

Holders: The obvious choice is just plain holding it in. A popular choice among the females and an almost impossible choice for males. I am not in favor of holding, as I believe the medical community has not done enough research about the long-term damage of holding. Really, where does it go if you hold it in? So be forewarned, this tactic is to be used at your own risk.

 

Desk Jockey: When deciding to release right at your desk, one has many factors to consider:

 

 

Do you have your own office? Feel free to fart at will, risk free. After commencing, I highly recommend locking the door and feigning you are not in the office to avoid any unwanted visitors. I also highly recommend against spraying air freshener, as the smell of the freshener is a dead giveaway. Candles are a good alternative solution for the females.

 

 

Are you seated at a cubicle or open desk? If so, one has to consider the proximity of the other workers and the density of workers in the area. If it is just you and one other person in the area, there is nowhere to place the blame. If others are fairly distant to you, the smell will dissipate by the time it reaches the others on all but the most egregious of days. There is always the chance of dispensing at higher decibels than anticipated due to the highly unstable nature of farts. In these most unfortunate situations, you will have to use cover-up sounds such as scraping your heel on the floor. I recommend practicing making sounds covering a wide range of tones and pitches in anticipation of such an event. Dropping objects such as staplers, binders and tape may not produce a similar sound, but if done in rapid succession could distract others from the initial event.

 

Meetings: Sometimes the urge strikes at the most inopportune time. Meetings and gas really do not mix. Releasing at a meeting is by far the trickiest of all the situations one could find oneself in. Although I am against holding in general, a meeting may be the time for it. It really depends if you have established baseline farts before the meeting. This will give you a sense of the decibel and scent level of what is to be expected. Warning: Do not ever use a meeting as the place to establish a baseline. Of course none of the above applies if you are meeting with vendors. You have free reign to do whatever you like.

 

Aisle Walker: Releasing while walking around the office is a popular option. By the time the scent disseminates, you should be nowhere near the scene of the incident. The added benefit is that if the release is done at higher decibels than anticipated, you can break out into an all-out sprint thereby fleeing the scene before others even look up to notice.

 

Broom Closet: One option is to find a broom closet and release inside the closet. The only drawback is explaining why you were in the broom closet if you are caught entering or leaving the closet. Stashing stationery supplies in the closet provides a nice excuse. People will love you for informing them about the backup stationery supply cabinet. Of course, you then have to find another closet, as your original place will become too risky.

 

And remember, if your workplace has many open flames, you are on your own.

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