"you're At My 12 O'clock"

[transquebecniece]

A great Comic Relief thread, Skidmark. Too funny!

[Curley]

While slinging gear into fallers in 200+ ft timber, a sea of green! The fella on the ground calls out over the radio...."yup, your off my 3 o' clock now"! .......Yeah, thanks tips. Or working on a fire with a BCFS unit crew...."I'm in a clearing with a red shirt on"??????

[Ryan]

My flight instructor told me a good one from years back flying into YYJ...

 

Pilot: Tower, helicopter FHSC with you over Coles Bay

 

Tower (female voice): HSC roger, traffic a Cessna 152 downwind left runway 09, and I have a Beaver......(radio cuts out for about 15 seconds).... a Beaver on final for Pat Bay.

 

Longest 15 seconds of radio silence he ever heard!

[rotorheadrob]

i think we should take away thier digital watches!!

 

 

And how do you explain " your on my left " doesn't help!

 

 

I love that line KFC!!

 

I worked a sysmic job years ago, 2 machines, the crew set up this great staging area, both the A-Stars would fit, but too small to lay down a line with the second ship running, so standard for the job was one of us on the radio saying "I'll just circle while you finish your shut down", wish I'd have heard "KFC" before that.

[rotrhd1]

I was instructing at Buttonville, ON where we had a base station set up to listen to the traffic calls.

 

Buttonville was always busy and most of the controllers ran through their radio calls extremely fast at the best of times. One day we're killing time listening and an "N" aircraft calls up south of the zone in a very slow southern drawl...

 

"Buttonville.... tower... this is.... No... vem... ber... niner...niner... two... three... etc." The female controller, obviously perplexed at how much time this visitor has consumed on the call up unloads her clearance for him to join the circuit in about 1.5 seconds. He immediately drawls out a request "niner... niner.. two... three... say again...".

 

This goes on a couple more times until he transmits... "Ma'am... do you hear... how fast... I'm talkin'. That's how fast I listen..."

 

Her next transmission was much slower...

 

rh1

[Guest graunch1]

Two great media ones. Nothing beats the take-off checklist in Airplane "Give me the Clearance Clarence...." Funniest aviaiton movie going. Of coure we saw it about a million times in Tuk prior to satellitte TV

 

Other great story is when they were filmiing the TV series Ba Ba Black Sheep in S. California. One of the vintage aircraft was a Grumman Duck, everyday after shooting it would return to the local airport and announce itself to the tower " Duck Downwind". After a few weeks this was shortened to "Quack"

[Zazu]

I used to helilog on the ground as a hooktender for years. Once in a while rigger and pilot would get a bit hot with each-other. One rigger had set up a pretty complicated load. This load jerked the machine quite a bit and was a bit heavy. Pilot was pissed and literally punched the turn off, which of course makes for quite a bit of extra labour for the guy on the ground.

 

Pilot says with all the anger he can muster while going for a cover turn: You do that again I'll climb down that line and punch you in the nose!! :shock:

 

Rigger replies quick like: Get the f##K back over here and I'll meet you halfway!!!

 

Zazu

 

Aside: No Jim, it wasn't me

[Torque Split]

Went out to pick up a "newfie" slashing crew and they just couldn't get the clock angles, so they came back on the radio and said " fly away from the sun boy, fly away from the sun. Worked for me!

[Billy Hill]

Went out to pick up a "newfie" slashing crew and they just couldn't get the clock angles, so they came back on the radio and said " fly away from the sun boy, fly away from the sun. Worked for me!

 

The "Newfies" would sound more like "Fli wey frmm de son boi, fliwey frmm deson"... Say again please!

[Skids Up]

A little over 100 years ago, (give or take a few) a "local" Beaver was leaving Prince George with a load of passengers, heading up the trench to one of the local reserves.

 

"TWR, this is the jigaboo express, we're off the big smoke, on course the promise land!"

 

Was just a 'few' minutes before the tower boys could respond...