Stupid Things Pilots Do

[deuce bigalow]

Ok here we go.

 

Young, inexperienced and stoopid. ( but incredibly good looking so it's not all bad).

 

Fixed wing days on the 185 on floats. Not heli I realize but still pretty stupid.

 

I loaded the back of the plane with 50 lb. bags of potatoes to fly out to a fishing camp and left the front seat open because I thought the owner of the camp was coming.

 

I wait and wait and finally the base manager comes storming down to the dock to ask me why I'm still here. Waiting for Nick says I. He's at the camp waiting for you!!! Get going. Big pressure. Important customer. GET GOING!!!

 

I jump in the plane and launch.........without rearranging the load. The plane came out of the water with full forward elevators and all my strength to hold it. Seriously out of balance. I had to prop my arms against my chest to keep it straight and level.

 

About a 30 minute trip and I set up the landing. The plane stalls about 10 feet above the water comes down hard bounces into the air, I get the throttle back up and go careening down the river stall horn blaring towards a waterfall. Scared shyteless to say the least. I get it flying though.

 

I figure out I have to run it on with full power to get it on and come around for try # 2. Made it!!

 

Taxi up to the dock where the fish camp owner is waiting. We unload the spuds and I say to him " OK you wanted to fly out and look at another lake?"

 

He says " Son......I wouldn't get in that thing and taxi around the lake with you at the controls."

 

He radios back to the company and I get a lecture from the base manager that includes firing threats.

 

I wish I could find a way to blame an engineer or apprentice but nope it was all me. (just kidding 212wrench)

 

Excuse.......maybe the highly experienced base manager should have noticed the problem but still.............my fault.

 

Fricken near bought the farm on my first season.

 

Stay tuned.

[deuce bigalow]

 

Still in the 70's but on a 206 now. In a camp with a bunch of rowdies. Every day on return they wanted to see an airshow. Every day I comply.

 

One day a bunch are out on the ice and I set up for a buzz job. I come low and over and as soon as I'm past I pull into a vertical climb with a Chandal turn at the top.

 

I roll out at the top, 0 airspeed, and pointed straight down at the ice which is not very far away.

 

Oh Cr*p!!! What was I thinking????????

 

I'm low enough on the pullout to make the boys dive for cover. They thought it was the best airshow ever. I woke up in cold sweats for a month.

 

That's the first time in 30 years I told that story.

 

The sort of thing that if you survive makes you a very careful pilot.

 

Now come on boys and girls............Am I the only one in the biz???

 

98% of helicopter pilots have done something stupid in their careers......and 2% are fricken liars.

[offset]

 

Good on ya Deuce nice to see some honesty on this site.

[Winnie]

I gotta clarify mine,

 

The apprentice got a scalding, but nothing more than buying him a beer later didn't fix, and BELIEVE ME, my shorts almost needed replacing, and I learned that time.

 

But point taken, the engineer was not trained at what we were trying.

 

Cheers

W.

[sk76driver]

Why only stupid things pilots do? Are you going leave engineers out of this party?

[splitpin]

Why only stupid things pilots do? Are you going leave engineers out of this party?

 

Good idea!! We could call it.... "The stupid things Engineers have to put up with!!"

 

[Elvis]

[splitpin]

 

You don't miss a thing do you "J"

[Elvis]

Sometimes I am in the right place at the right time J

[212wrench]

I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.